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Well it’s come to this.  You, the reader, found the ‘About’ page.  I can only assume you’ve already read the entirety of each post and watched every frame of each video and now find yourself yearning for more material.  Well you won’t find it here.  This is a fool’s errand, a wild goose chase, a wild goose’s foolish errand even.  Here you will only find an explanation of who I am and a description of this very site. On this site you will find writings in the form of screenplays, jokes, lists, and essays. These are all similar to books except I can write them without taking those pills truckers take in order to murder more hookers, or those pills L. Ron Hubbard took to write more books. You will also find videos and films on this site. Films and videos are like photographs. The difference is you take 24 to 30 of them a second rather than one a semester to prove to your father that “you really have an eye for this” and that “he should invest in your gallery”.  Sometimes (rarely if ever) the material on this site will bring you to tears.  Sometimes (rarely if ever) you’ll learn something about yourself.  But most of all I hope these pieces make you chuckle. You can find my recent work below, or by type using the drop down menus above. My wish is that at some point as you do so the air around your mouth becomes pressurized by your vocal chords in an unexpected way.  I wish this partly because I think spreading joy is novel but I wish it mostly because I’M CREEPY AND I WANT TO CONTROL YOUR BODY.  So if you like anything about these pieces, you sir or madame are in fact spreading joy… to me! The most novel of all pursuits.  If you enjoy doing that, keep coming back for more.  Let me control your body.

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