HEADLINES

Acoustic Guitar Lying Idle In The Corner Of Dorm Room Ready To Drop Some Panties Come Friday Afternoon

NASA’s Mars Rover Discovers Signs Of Struggle, Deems Planet A Homicide

Love Means Never Having To Say I’m Sorry, Reports Man With A Lot To Apologize For

Hell’s Gay District Absolutely Heavenly

Couple Gets Enraged On Jumbo-tron

Satan Rushing Around Last Minute Trying To Get Things Ready For You

FDA Urges Americans To Eat All Of That Potato Salad In The Back Of The Fridge Before It Goes Bad

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