HEADLINES

Man In Rascal Scooter Better Fucking Be Paralyzed

Study: Babies Born Between 2000, 2003 Now A Bunch Of Little Pricks

Dog Walker Has An Alarming Amount Of Peanut Butter In His Pantry

Nation’s Losers Come Together To Demand Better Daytime Programming

School For The Clinically Insane Loses The Last Of Its Mental Faculty

Orphan boy who fell into a vat of toxic ooze gains the incredible ability to have cancer

Sitcom Couple Files For Divorce After Failing To Resolve Tension In 30 Minute Interval

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